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Maybe

You can’t defend yourself all the time. Well, you can. But really, you shouldn’t.

Think of it.

Someone wrongs you, says something bad about you to another friend, whatever it may be. What’s inside you? Is it anger, defensiveness?

Maybe it’s total denial, unbelief that THEY would do that to YOU.

Of all people?!

What did you do to them?!

I thought you were friends..

And everything inside you is saying “That’s –

Now stop it right there.

Right here, you’re being what they call an actual killjoy. No, not to them. They don’t even know your angry. That is, is until you pick up your phone to either text or post something humorous, with a small dash of petty, and a fistful of passive aggressive.

You become a lot like this guy.

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But before you become like the famous Kermit meme.. the only joy your stealing is yours. And while you may have experienced, your joy tank is a whole lot less throughout the whole day, maybe weeks, maybe your lifetime. Your hope in humanity in people, friends, your world, has been quickly evaporating throughout the years.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been able to realize there’s a short circuit in my own life. And it starts in my mind, starts in me.

That exact situation, I’ve been there, several times. And recently, as much as it’s embarrassing to say, it’s been more and more often recently.

Defense can be my best friend. My best friend that puts me against all my other friends. She’s that friend that tells you all what she said about you, when you didn’t ask to hear in the first place. She’s that friend that points out the wrongdoings of others and says “Wouldn’t you look at that..” When someone does you wrong, this best friend says, “Don’t just sit there and do nothing! Be angry! She did this to YOU! She was supposed to be your friend, and a good one too. She says she loves you… PF. Cut her off. You deserve better than this.”

And often times, we listen to her.

A lot more than we should.

We start to hang out with her a bit more than we should, let her puff up our egos, and bash the ones around us, the ones we should be caring for and loving on.

Because after all, whether you realized it or not, people are flawed. Sometimes people do things that are downright awful, but doesn’t that mean we describe who they are as awful. 1 Corinthians 13:7 says “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres”. In “How’s Your Soul”, Judah Smith brings up the option to choose to believe better in that person, and why we should. We should believe better of society, of this world, of the people in your life. To have hope in them, and love them- even and especially when they do wrong.

Choose to do what’s considered weak, pathetic. Choose to not only say it, but think and believe

“Maybe they didn’t mean it.

Maybe they had a bad day.

Maybe they don’t know better.”

In my experience of friendships, I’ve been treated wonderfully.. and I’ve been treated completely not so wonderfully. I’ve had my secrets told and held against me, I’ve been the friend that is embarrassing to show in public, I’ve been the friend to steal from, I’ve been lied to, and I’ve been the friend that’s the butt of many jokes.

And while I type this, I am not spewing in anger, thinking how dare they.

Because while there may be a voice trying to peek through saying, “Be angry. They did you so wrong. How could they?! Cut. em. off.” There’s another voice remaining, a very, very small voice, that gets made fun of and isn’t encouraged, that says “Maybe they stole your things, maybe they needed it more than you did. Maybe they made fun of you, maybe they made fun of themselves all too often – and needed a new victim. Maybe they’re hurt.”

Keep that “maybe” in your mind. Choose that voice. Give up the position of being your own lawyer and judge. It only hurts you in the end. It darkens your mind & heart, and separates you from others.

I know it’s hard, I know it sounds ridiculous at first. But – try to defend others who maybe are downright guilty, but give them the benefit of the doubt. You don’t even have to be oblivious of that they’ve done, you don’t even have to keep hanging around them, being in positions where you can keep getting hurt, but for the sake of you, for the sake of your heart, and the light of hope for humanity that is slowly dimming within you, choose to believe that maybe it’s not their fault.

They’re not the horrible, murderous, villain that chose to hurt you.

Maybe they’ve been hurt too.

Eventually, we have to choose our place in the world. We have to choose who we are. How we view life, view people.

Are we here to be served or to serve?

Is love really love if you only love those who love you back?

And really, even the ones who love you will hurt you. So – do you throw in the towel, or do you forgive them, give them the benefit of the doubt?

If you keep this mindset and habit of constantly defending yourself, desperately proving those who hurt you wrong.. eventually you’ll be crossing all your friends off the list. You might start to think, or maybe you’re already thinking that being close to others is just too much work, too much pain, that it’s not worth it. But you need to understand, you need people. We all need human connection, friendship, fellowship. And before you understand that need, you need to know that these people that are required for you to live a happy life full of love, laughter, and contentment – you need to know that these people aren’t perfect. They’ll hurt you, they’ll say hurtful things, they’ll talk behind your back, they’ll do things you don’t approve of or support. But don’t hold that against them. They’re not perfect. But hey, neither are you. Let it go. Have hope in them. Believe the maybes.

Next time someone hurts you, which might be very soon, maybe moments after reading this post. Or next time you remember someone that hurt you a week ago, or 13 years ago even – Choose to say:

“Maybe”

Whatever that maybe may be, let that be your anthem, let that be the voice you listen to. Repeat it till you believe it. Don’t defend yourself, defend others. Have hope in them. And be free.

 

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Before and Now

While growing up, I’ve learned a lot about what it meant to be a Christian (and still am). Often, it’s through trial and error. And even more often, I think I’m doing everything alright, only to find out I’m completely looking at it all in the wrong way. I’m in no way a “perfect Christian” (whatever that is), and I still don’t think I have it all figured out today, and I don’t think I ever will. But let me tell you, through the grace of God, I’ve been able to learn a lot more on what it really means to be a Christian and know God.

Before, I used to have a bible verse in my bio because that’s “what Christians would do”. I now have a specific verse because that’s what I read when I was lost and hurting. That verse got me through a hard time of tears, fear, hopelessness. That verse speaks to me and heals my heart’s worries. When I used to sing along to worship songs it was because it was a pretty song and that’s just what you do. Now I sing because in that moment, I give up all my worries and lay it in God’s arms, I focus on him, & I worship Him because He’s worthy. Growing up I was afraid to tell people about Jesus, but now I look forward to opportunities where I am able to tell them of His love. Because I know that love, and it’s the reason I’m alive today. I’ve felt the pain, the loneliness, and the absent of hope that many others in the world are holding onto. And I want to show them true hope and true love. I used to think there was bad and good people, but now I see there’s only humans. Many of these humans have been hurt & have had made mistakes, but those don’t define them. They are so worthy of love. And they need to know this. A few years ago, I would think there was all these rules and laws because God wanted life to be boring, that they were too high to attain, that sin was just a way to make people feel bad about themselves & not good enough. And now, I see He has these things in place to keep me safe and free from hurtful consequences, and wants me to find joy and contentment in things that last, and things I am able to put my trust and hope in. And while I may not be perfect, and I still mess up lots, with His power, love, and sacrifice, I am able to be stronger and be free from my temptations & mistakes that I couldn’t rise above on my own before. Before I would do everything on my own, and worry about so many different things, while I said with my lips that I trusted Him. Now, I have to daily die to myself, my will, & my worries, so that I can rely on Him. I know so many things are out of my control, I know He cares, and has a plan. I used to say I knew Jesus loved me. While inside, I was struggling with self hate, no sense of purpose, and suicidal thoughts. Now, I feel His love, I KNOW His love. Before, being a Christian meant being a fan of God. Now, it’s being a friend of His.

It’s crazy to think how I had it so wrong. And a lot of times, I still do. Being a Christian and knowing God can be so different. A title is not a relationship. Knowing his law, but not his love is no way to live. I am beyond thankful God has shown me His love, and His authenticity throughout the years. Some days I’m a sucky friend, I forgot to talk to him, I don’t listen to what He says, and I completely spit in His face within my heart. I mess up big time. That’s why being a Christian should not be something to make you look good, but to make God look good. We didn’t do anything to save ourselves. He did and still does. It’s all in the grace and power of God. The real definition of a Christian is a broken person in need of a perfect Savior.

If you’re reading this and you’re a Christian or a believer and know God’s love, that’s amazing. Keep going and keep seeking his face. Maybe you’re not where you want to be. Maybe you struggle with such pain inside you, such a void. And maybe on top of all of that pain, you struggle with certain temptations. I get you. I’ve been there, and I still am there. While I can say I’m there struggling, I can look back and 100% say I’ve changed and grown, all because of the grace and power of Jesus. It’s a journey. Rely on Him, my friend. It’s not in your own strength. And God is not ashamed of you or mad at you. You are His child. Let Him love on you, help you, challenge you, grow you, and shape you.

And if you’re someone who may not believe, and have only seen the hatred & judgement that many Christians spew. And maybe you believe God is imaginary, or there’s a god out there that’s not Him, or that He’s someone full of hate. I want to let you know, there is a God and His name is Jesus. He isn’t someone who notices sin first, and you second. He looks at your heart. He sees your pain. He understands you’re tying to find your way. But He wants to help you do that. He loves you so much. He wants you to feel this love, this agape love, unconditional love. Not the conditional, fleeting, hurtful love that you’ve experienced in this world. He wants you to know your purpose, that you’re not here for a simple mistake caused by space matter colliding. I pray that you experience his real, solid, overwhelming, more than enough love that He gives. I hope you start to see His hand in your life. Look to the life of Jesus, realize He was a REAL man, and that he only preached love, not religion. Run to God, not away from Him. Talk to Him. He will rescue you, show you His love, and change your life from the inside out. “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” Psalm 34:4-5.

If you’ve made it this far into this post: first of all, wow. Second, of all, thank you so much. I want you to know once again, I am here for you. To listen, to comfort, & to be your friend. If you need someone to talk to, message me & get in contact with me! And as always, remember you are loved.

Lots of love,

Glori

First Post!!

Hello world, here I am! If you’re reading this cause you know me and heard about my blog from me rambling about it/posting it on certain social media platforms, thanks so much!! And if you just stumbled upon this, thanks so much!! Whoever you are and however you got here, I’d like to say hello 🙂

My name is Glori! I am a youngin, only 17. But I have a passion for loving others & spreading joy. I also have a passion for naps, burritos, talking, and animals in all types, shapes, and sizes. Another important aspect of me is not so much the love I have for Jesus (I can’t brag much – I’m a mess), but the love He has for me. A great verse for this is actually the verse of the day today (update: yesterday) on the Bible app. (How cool!) That verse is Psalm 116: 1-2, “I love the Lord because He hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breathe!”. This is a beautiful verse. I do not love God because I have to, nor did my parents force me to, nor was I brought up & brainwashed to do so. I also don’t love God to make me seem as a perfect person who has it all together, just so I can brag in others faces, putting them down because they struggle with sin and pain in their hearts (girl, me too). All of that – wrong, wrong, and WRONG. I love God because I know I was created for that love. Deep down, behind all the doubt and the insecurities and the hurt and the anger and straight up pride sometimes, I know my heart needs God. That this beautiful, but sometimes messed up world, is really something amazing, something almost too amazing with someone like me, and someone like you, with a purpose.. maybe a creator, and maybe someone who came and died for us two thousand years ago – so that we could know we were loved, so that we could have love for others, so that we could have a reason to wake up every morning. And not just wake up, but live abundantly, experience life, the nature around us, music, the love of people, and so much more, every ounce of it, with joy and peace in our hearts. Yes, some days S-T-I-N-K, don’t get me wrong. But I believe there’s more to all of it, more to our lives. I believe that’s found in God. Not in friends, not in girlfriends/boyfriends, not in nature, not in drugs, alcohol, or even the greatest burrito paired with chips and queso. While some of those may be great & may bring us a lot of joy, I don’t think we should get our happiness from that. I know from each time I’ve tried, it always failed me. Always left me dry, unsatisfied, always wanting more, always crying out for someone to love me, for something to give me a purpose.

I don’t know if what I wrote describes you in the past or currently, or maybe you’re fine and dandy, but I just want to let you know, person to person – God loves you. I ain’t got no agenda, I don’t need money from you, I don’t think I’m better than you, and I don’t want to control you or whatever sick and twisted thing maybe some religions may use (just lettin’ y’all know wassup and wass-not-up) I just want you to know you are loved. If you’re looking for some kind of reason to live today, to keep going. Maybe you need some motivation, more peace, more joy – look to Jesus. His arms are wide open, they’ll never close on you. Hey, ignore his arms, his whole body entirely, it’ll all still be there, He’ll all still be there. Don’t let any thing stop you, He’s not the power hungry, people hating God someone made you think he is, & He’s not asking you to change yourself entirely and then come to Him, He just wants you, the mess and all, and He wants to love that mess, and little by little, swap the mess and the stress with a little more wholeness.

Stranger or friend, believer or unbeliever,  I love you! You are loved. Your differences from others don’t define you or make you any less than you are. I ain’t even gotta see you to know you’re beautiful and worth so much. You have gifts and such beautiful qualities. Maybe you have an amazing laugh, or are heck of an artist. That’s amazing, you’re amazing. Now stop focusing on the bad stuff! Like your “wonky nose” or your not-so good habits. Those arent you, girlfriend/boyfriend. Those are all things that people taught you to focus on, or maybe you taught yourself to focus on. Maybe you won’t let them go, you get mad at yourself for those certain things, you don’t feel as good as he or she. You don’t say that.. but you sure do think it. This is a reminder: let it go. You are not defined by those things. God defines you, and we already cleared it up that He sees nothin but love for you. You define yourself, you and your amazing qualites, yeah those. They’re there. Now think of those things. Fight back the lies you sometimes you feed yourself. You are worth more. Now give yourself a little more credit, speak more into your life, love on yourself a little more, and spread that love with others!! Who you were yesterday, or even before reading this – doesn’t have to be the same you after. A lot of the things you think you are are just habits, just wrong things you learned. Relearn some things, think some new things. It’s gonna be okay and you’ll see more blessings in your life very soon. Moral of the story: You are great, you got dis, and thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to read this. If you want, stay updated with my future posts where I’ll share and speak about different quotes, verses, & experiences I’ve been through and ones I’m going through! Have a blessed day ❤️